Moment of truth, when I walk into a new building I almost always make an on the spot assessment regarding the building’s fit for a fucking awesome paintball arena. When I arrived at Union Station in D.C., I am not ashamed to admit to having had a paintball-gasm. Not only is the interior replete with nooks, crannies, overhangings, and large statues perfect for perching on, sniping from behind, landing on from above, and every other awesome Bruce Willis action-movie shoot-out maneuver you can dream of, but it sits on top of an entire subway system! That’s right, subway shootout rampage! The best zombie and vampire movies have subway slaughter scenes…

In the event you care or are curious, I have put together a list of the 10 buildings I’ve visited that I think would make for the most excellent paintball battles EVAR!

10. The Mall of America (Bloomington, MN) mall + rollercoaster = heck yes!
09. Any gothic cathedral I’ve ever visited (Europe)
08. The World of Coca-Cola (Atlanta, GA) paintballs going off in the tasting room… J
07. The University of Texas Bell Tower (Austin, TX) this one is a nostalgia thing
06. Roman Forts (particularly on the island of Sardegna) if you’ve been, you’ll understand!
05. Pierre Lachaise (Paris, France) a cemetery, but its got 100s of mausoleums
04. The Alamo (San Antonio, TX) also a nostalgia thing
03. Any country fair (Small Town, USA) the more fairway booths the better!
02. Quincy Market (Boston, MA) food + awesome paintballing = godly
01. Alcatraz (San Francisco, CA) last.man.standing.