I understand male homosexuality.  I really do.  Girlfriends tend to trend towards tyrannical bitch over time while in a relationship.  The list of rules always starts out short and simple: 1. Don’t put your penis in anything or anyone.  2. Don’t forget to flush the toilet.  3. Shower before you touch me. 

Reasonable enough. 

Over time the list of rules expands and the degree of ridiculousness of the rules approaches infinity: 1. Don’t talk to single females.  2. Don’t talk to unhappily married females.  3. Call me daily.  4. Post that you love me to my facebook wall.  5. Unfriend your exes.  6. I am invited to everything you do, ever.  7. Your furniture is ugly, replace your drapes, organize your pantry, and keep your welcome mat raked.  8. You’re fat, lose weight.  9. Don’t even think about wearing those jeans out in public!  10. Tell me I’m pretty at least once a day.  11. Never, ever, notice another girl’s beauty, and certainly don’t speak of it in my presence.  12. Your balls!  Now!  They belong to me.  13. Life as you know it is over.  14. Until you propose to me, I’m not doing that thing with my tongue you like so much. 

Not quite as reasonable.

Girls with no heads can’t speak.  We just have to wait for the German geneticists to sort the logistics out.  Or guys could stop dating tyrannical bitches and complaining about it to me.  That would work too.